A History of Carter’s Slow Uptake on his Sexuality

While Carter had told most people that he had only figured out he was gay last month, they often responded with some degree of skepticism. Really? They had asked, raising their eyebrows at him. You’re seventeen, it really took you that long to figure out?

It had actually. Carter had a couple sneaking suspicions here and there throughout his adolescence, but they had all snowballed into a conclusion only a month ago, which was a good three years after he had gone through puberty.

In comparison, his little sister had figured him out in 2002.

He had been eight years old, she was four, and at the time both of them were engaged in a very heated game of Spider-man verses Disney Princesses in the garage sale edition of Skeletor’s castle. Carter had been dead set on declaring his sister’s Little Mermaid doll as a Mary Jane replacement, since she was a redhead and Spider-Man needed someone to rescue besides Veterinarian Barbie’s pregnant cat.

“He’s gonna save Mary Jane from the clutches of your evil Princess Force Five” Carter had said, snatching Ariel from where she was propped up in the throne room of Castle Skeletor. “And she’s gonna say thank you so much for saving me Spider-Man! And then they will get married and live happily ever after.”

Four year old Rebecca didn’t like this idea so much. “Nooooooohhhhhh Carter” She whined, tugging Ariel back. “Fish Princess of the Ocean Legion doesn’t wanna marry Spider-Man. Besides, you’re gay. Spider-Man can marry Batman. They already have the same last name.”

Carter was eight, but like many eight year olds, had no idea what “gay” really meant. He had always assumed it was some kind of cuss word since teachers had scolded children from using the word like how they used “dumb” or “stupid”. So, curious and slightly confused, he had gone straight to the person who would know what it meant.

“Daaaaaddd” Carter called as he padded down the hall to the living room where his father was reading the Georgia Straight. “Dad, Rebecca called me gay. Am I gay?”

For some reason, his dad seemed to know instinctively that she hadn’t been referring to “happy gay”. Folding up the paper in a typical patriarchal fashion, he looked down at his son and said simply, “You’re too young to know that now. Give it a few years.”

Carter, like most kids, hated to be told he was too young. “No I’m not.” He said, puffing out his cheeks in indignation. “What does it mean?”

So his father had sat back and thought for a minute.

“If you like boys and you’re a boy, you are gay. If you like girls, and you’re a girl, you’re gay.” he said, clapping his hand on his son’s shoulder.

Carter thought about that. “But I like boys. I like girls too. Am I gay?”
His father at this time was realizing that the word “like” had much wider connotations than he had originally realized. “Like-like” he said. “Would you want to marry a boy, rather than marry a girl?”

Carter thought about that for a minute. He liked Spider-Man, idolized Spider-Man. And Spider-Man wanted to marry Mary Jane.

“I wanna marry a girl like Mary Jane.” Carter said, beaming.

“Then you aren’t gay,” said his dad, turning back to the paper.

And that was that.

Nine years later, when he had come out to his sister she had simply rolled her eyes and muttered “finally” before resuming her texting session with her BFF.

When he had come out to his parents, his mother had interrupted with “CALLED IT” and promptly requested his father to hand over the cash that they had been betting on his sexuality.

She won thirty bucks.

  • Anhel

    Was that last bit inspired by ‘Make the Yuletide gay’? =P http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1305714/

  • Anhel

    Was that last bit inspired by ‘Make the Yuletide gay’? =P http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1305714/

    • Anonymous

      Haha, I think it might just be a coincidence! 

  • Virago

    LOL omg.
    I wish coming out of the closet was that easy for me. CALLED IT! lol.
    No my mom cried and my dad…hates me…I think…

    • MidnightFlyer

      Btw, I didn’t like this cuz I was being mean or thought it was funny. It was more of a “I feel your pain” like.

    • Mementom

      I know, it would’ve probably made it easier! I’m pretty sure my parents bet I was 100% straight… that didn’t go so well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lpcamargo Lucas Camargo

    I’ve read this after having an hour-long conversation with my parents about my sexuality. Now everything about my life feels weird… ugh. :|

    • DuckieTie

      good luck! :D 

      • http://www.facebook.com/lpcamargo Lucas Camargo

        And more than a year later I came back here to say that everything went better then expected :D
        I’ve got a bf, my friends and family support me, and all that jazz…

        (Disqus reminded me that someone had replied to my comment :p)

        • Vinny V.

          That’s wonderful Lucas! Glad things worked out for you and that you shared it. We need more gay people to share their stories to empower and inspire others. To help young people realize that it really does get better if they hang in there. Good luck to you!

  • Malarkey

    ‘They already have the same last name.’

    That’s it, you’ve won me over. A loyal fan forever.

  • megantod123

    This might be the best piece of fiction ever written. 

  • NRT102

    Somehow, that is a scene I could picture my parents doing for me. Or, you know, Adrian and his whole “grandchildren shame” thing.

  • Jewels

    LAWL! I love the “parents betting money’ gag; it never gets old. It’s nice to see for once that a family doesn’t just not care about their son’s sexuality but actually have a betting match; especially if the mother thought he was gay. Just because he can’t give you grandchildren doesn’t make him any the less your baby. 

    Save Adrian; it’s cool and refreshing to see a character’s family who just instantly (or suspects beforehand) accepts their child’s sexuality. 

    I giggled a lot at this. 

  • Aisling McConville

    Man, that made me laugh so much at the end! Brilliant :) I wish more parents were this accepting though. Great writing though :D

  • redleaveshavefallen

    You are an incredible writer with an amazing brain and I love you.

  • +bird+

    I read this for the second time, and I just seriously love it. His mom is great, his dad, his sister…great short! :3

  • Sam

    love his parents!!!!!! :D

  • Nikki Rivera

    I’m not even confident enough to come out D:
    But this was really nice!

  • YabiFish

    That end, Oh Jeez, I’m dying of laughter

  • liliyee

    omg this is great!!!!!!! XD I only realized my pansexual-al-lal-lal-lal-lality like 4 months ago!!!!!!! lol

  • liliyee

    but seriously though this is great!!!!!!!

  • Cameron Chan

    my sister had a rather different reaction. lol.

  • Sharon Agredo

    Why can’t every parent react like this to their curious little child??

  • Angi

    Dang, I want to win 30 bucks for knowing something obvious.

  • arochii

    It’s hilarious that his sister knew from she was 4 and then his mom bet on it. Best.

  • anderbane

    as much as i love this comic and this short it bothers me that Carter has to be gay, like he can’t be bi.

    I dunno it annoys me that, purposefully or not, people think it can’t be a proper “””gay romance””” if one of them is bi, like they’re not “real gay”

    i wish more than anything that Carter was bi :/

    • Katie

      I’m really late replying to this but this comment bugs me a lot. Are bi people underrepresented? Yes. Are Hazel and Bell somehow guilty of bi erasure just by virtue of writing two gay guys rather than including a bi character? No. And I think it’s kind of ridiculous to assume that just because Carter realized he was gay after thinking he was bi for a while, that means the authors don’t think it would be “real gay” if Carter were bi. That’s actually a REALLY COMMON THING for gay people. It is a stereotype about bi people, which sucks, but it certainly happens. I’ve known gay people who came out as bisexual first because they didn’t want to admit they were gay or didn’t realize it yet. And like, how would the story even work then? Carter stalking Adrian in Chapters, their entire relationship wouldn’t have happened if Carter weren’t desperate to get laid, with a GUY, because he had so few options. If he were bi, he could just sleep with a girl and be just as satisfied, end of comic.

      I am bisexual and yes, I fucking HATE it when I see books, comics, movies, tv shows, etc. acting like bi people aren’t real or are just closeted gay people or are inherently unfaithful or aren’t gay enough to have a real gay relationship. But that is not remotely what’s happening here.

      • anderbane

        I get what you’re saying and I understand it too but I have a few things to say in response..

        “he could just sleep with a girl and be just as satisfied, end of comic.” I completely disagree. Having sex with a guy and having sex with a girl are totally different things, at least to me. Like they satisfy you in different ways. A relationship with a guy is totally different to a relationship with a girl, and if I wanted sex with a girl I wouldn’t think “well I’ll just fuck a guy, its the same thing!” its not.

        I know its a common thing for people to com out as bi before gay, or then realising that they’re gay but a lot of people use this mentality negatively. Like “well you’re only bi so you’re not really a member of the LGBT community” “you’re lucky because you’re straight passing” or a lot of gay/lesbian people won’t date a bi person because “they’re not gay” “i have double the amount of competition” and “they’re way more likely to cheat on me!” which are all harmful things to think.
        And it bothers me that people, audiences, don’t buy into bisexual characters because its not the same a gay romance, or that it cheapens the romance, or that they too believe these negative mindsets.

        I’m not condemning Hazel and and Bell, by any means, I just think there needs to more same sex couple where one is bi and I think they had an opportunity to do that and missed it. I think it would be more meaningful.
        Maybe that’s just me

        I realise I repeated some of your points back to you in this. whoops.

        • Katie

          I just disagree with every single thing you’ve said here. No, Hazel and Bell didn’t miss an opportunity to write bi characters here. Sorry, but it makes no sense to say that Carter could’ve been bi. It is completely unrealistic to say that a bisexual character (especially a virgin) who is obviously desperate for any sex at all would go through the trouble of pursuing a guy who has no apparent interest in him whatsoever when he could have sex with a girl to alleviate his sexual frustration. You can talk all you want about how relationships with men and women are completely different, but your experiences aren’t every bi person’s experiences.

          Besides–I’m in a relationship and when I want to have sex, I have sex with my girlfriend. I cannot have sex with anyone else without being unfaithful. And that is FINE with me because having sex with her is just as satisfying as having sex with a guy would be. You’re perpetuating harmful stereotypes about bi people yourself by saying this. I don’t need to be polyamorous or cheat or sleep around to satisfy my sexual urges. I can very well have sex with just one gender and be perfectly fine with that, and Carter, were he bi, could also have sex with a girl if he wanted sex that badly.

  • nobody’s bussiness

    xD omg woW I LOV E THIS

  • not a person

    This is soo hilarious :D It’s perfect, I really love it. In my case I didn’t have to come out, i never told my family and when I introduced my girlfriend to ther, they took it very normal, like it didn’t matter if I was gay or straight.

  • Mana

    I think you meant Spider-Man wanted to marry Gwen. If things hadn’t ended the way they did. *sobs*

    • not all pork chops are perfect

      Mary Jane is the full first name of MJ, the original love interest of Spider-Man.

      • http://www.writingforums.org/members/oscar-leigh.73758/. Oscar Leigh

        She comes after Gwen.

  • JEM


  • Max Cosgi


  • Rolling Away For Days

    And I am completely in love with Carter’s family. Also, I would totally be that mom.

  • AGIS

    “a typical patriarchal fashion”

    ….Oh man, please don’t tell me Hazel and Bell are SJW Femnazis….

    • Ada Sjaastad




      of or relating to a patriarch, the male head of a family, tribe, community, church, order, etc.:
      my father’s conservative, patriarchal ways.

      ..uhm, it’s just an adjective. And it’s often unrelated to feminist terminology, as in this case.

      I do wonder why you’re hanging out in the comment section of an LGBTQ+ webcomic made by two tumblr-users if you’re that offended by feminists, though.

      • AGIS

        I’m I not allowed to be gay and anti-Feminist? Can I not enjoy a story written by someone whos views I may not see eye to eye with? I enjoy this comic very much, and I don’t read it because the writers are feminist. I read it because it’s nostalgic for me ad well written.

        • Ada Sjaastad

          Sure you can. That’s exactly why I don’t see how it’s relevant if Hazel and Bell are “SJWs”. This comic isn’t political, so announcing your anti-feminism in the comments because of the use of one word just seems kind of unnecessary, especially when the creators and a big portion of the readers are feminists (seemingly).

          Anyway, I only wanted to clear up the misinterpretation of the word “patriarchal”. If you’re trying to pick a fight with a feminist or something, I’m not really up for it, so I’ll just wish you a good day.

          • AGIS

            I was just unaware they were feminists. Took me a bit by surprise I suppose.

          • AJ

            ..I sure hope you’re aware there’s a difference between feminists and feminazis. I can’t imagine why you’d hate somebody that only wants equality.

          • AGIS

            Because ever “feminist for equality” I’ve met the ones that think all men are rapists, male circumcision is fine, and women should be hired in / paid more to make up for some “wage gap” that was proven to not exist in this city…. And yes, I’ve met many, I live on a Liberal college campus. That isn’t equality, and I don’t see them marching in to register for the draft.

    • bruna

      i’m think if you really know what is feminist…..maybe you’re too young, or just ignorant

      • AGIS

        Not ignorant enough not be able to spell…

  • Danica

    only 30? damn woman i would bet 100

  • http://www.wattpad.com/user/Skittles11478 Hannah

    when i came out as bi to one of my best friends, she said she thought so, although i act very straight LOL.
    i am in love with Carter’s family omg

  • GingerFreckles

    i love Carter’s family so much. what would have happened when he came out to his friends XD

  • Kristen Leigh

    “Besides, you’re gay. Spider-Man can marry Batman. They already have the same last name” may be one of the best lines I’ve ever read

  • https://plus.google.com/106769419622842427225 LevixEren

    Lol! That parents

  • Rin Igarashi

    30 bucks! Damn, who the fuck– actually I know plenty of people who would do that. lol XD

  • http://donthavetobebrave.tumblr.com/ cyril

    best parents

  • Josh

    Parents of the year.

  • Abril

    hahahahahah, I love her mom!!!!

    • Anidict13

      I love his dad.

  • Po tay to ;D

    i wish i had carter’s family
    can you guys just adopt me or something? XD

  • Ola Vache

    This family is just so amazing! They are so open-minded! I absolutely love that!

  • http://shittydan.tumblr.com/ Dan danus

    I want a family like that! XD

  • Scrubjr

    Now do one on Adrian

  • https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010553775444&fref=ts CartRian Smut.

    And on that day, carters mom wone thrity bucks, because Carter was indeed the gay..
    the gay for Adrian.
    (and honestly i was waiting his dad to like hop out of the chair and yell something like “A** S*X. I SHOULD HAVE SCARED THE KID” and just walk away

  • http://www.writingforums.org/members/oscar-leigh.73758/. Oscar Leigh

    I love this. Reminds me of my brothers reaction a liitle.

  • Eheu Anna

    Are we just ignoring Batman and Spiderman have the same last name

  • AGIS

    “Not ALL feminists are like that!” -Every Feminist.

    And my point on the wage gap is completely legitimate. Saying “Well, it PROBABLY exists where you are!” isn’t an argument. And being entirely against a draft is…nothing short of moronic. A nation needs defense, and if your unwilling to join when your nation is in desperate need, but enjoy the fruits of a nation, you SHOULD be drafted. Why? Because we don’t live in a nice world full of hugs and kittens. Bad stuff happens, and you need insurance against that.

  • Eheu Anna

    In case you didn’t notice, no one is being drafted right now